I know today is the day before Mother's Day, but I'm working on my mom's gift today. Hopefully it will all be dry by the time I get home, but I'm not so sure.
You see, I'm doing a painting for my mom. I'll probably bake a cake for her on Sunday (red velvet, her favorite) because I've discovered an aptitude for baking, but I wanted to give her something from the heart.
So that's where art comes in right? Unfortunately, the relationship between my mother and I is... complicated to say the least. I can't paint a picture that describes unconditional love and devotion, because frankly, I'm too angry with her for that.
But I can paint something with a double meaning.
I can paint longing.
You see, my mom is in Texas working on getting her PhD, which is great and all, but the physical distance between us gave me an idea for this picture.
In the background I'll paint one of my skies. Surreal looking, and definitely watercolor..y. Then when that dries I will paint two cliffsides that face each other, in the distances, the ground below will be black or dark gray, or a mix. On the cliffsides will be two female figures facing each other with their arms outstretched to each other.
Over the chasm, in between the two figures, a heart will float.
The heart is cheesy, but there you have it. Perhaps I'll write in fancy cursive "Thinking of you wherever you are..." or whatnot.
... I think it's a good idea.
I've already sketched out the figures in crayon on a notecard and once my sky is dry, will probably gently sketch out the cliffs.
I think I'll give it to her before I leave for school. Or slip it into her purse when she's not looking or something.
Another thing I think I'll do, if Frank criticizes my baking, is stop what I'm doing and tell him to finish it.
I wish I were that brave... or foolhardy.
On a completely different note, I finished Insurgent in one day. WOW! What a book! It wasn't like a lot of "seconds" in a series where it's just preparing you for the next step without really being engaging or superfantastic, it was just as action packed as the first. Even more so, I believe.
I'm sort of bummed that I have to wait a whole 'nother year for the next book to come out. Good thing I have a few more books to look forward to this summer!! I might be able to pick up a few in france while I'm at it.
That's all I really wanted to talk about. You'll be seeing me around.
Love and Peace
Elle
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Thoughts: Boyfriends, Friends, and Everything in Between
Yesterday was so so nice. I got to spend some time with Rick and Ali. I'm really glad that Rick isn't living out of his van anymore and I'm hoping things really start to look up for him soon. He deserves it.
I should start at the beginning before I start to ramble. Organization and all that.
Neal and I woke up at 11:30, which, to me, is too late to be productive. Let's face it. After waking up so late, you don't really want to do anything else for the rest of the day. So I started watching America's Next Top Model reruns and surfing the web.
That's when Rick messages me on facebook asking for a favor. There was something wrong with his car and he asked that, if he needed a lift, he could count on me. I told him I'd do him one better. He should come over while his car is getting fixed and then I'll throw a tea party.
Well, as I'm talking to Rick, I'm also texting Ali. Because the three of us are all friends, I invited her too. Unfortunately, Ali had to eat dinner so she had to come over later, but it was still nice to sit and share woes with Rick.
Rick and I devoured the croissants I had bought for the tea party, and enjoyed a bit of the cake that I made. The two of us also started our pottermore comic so I'll probably be posting some of that when I get the chance. Maybe after I'm done tutoring my girls.
Then Ali came over and enjoyed tea with us. I must say, I'm proud to have found a tea that she likes. Now I just have to find some that all of my friends will like when I throw these tea parties. We finished off the croissants and had more cake. What a legit tea party! Rick kept calling the croissants 'scones' because it felt so legit... I think it might have been the teapot.
The three of us had a grand ol' time laughing a joking until Rick had to leave to do homework and prepare for class. Then it was just Ali and I. We chatted a bit about the avengers, which was an awesome movie, and then headed into the living room to watch Brother Bear.
Of course, I was a crying, hot mess throughout the ending of that movie. What I really like about Ali is that, whenever I turn into a ball of tears and emotion, she just... not ignores it, but lets me be without asking if I'm alright every five seconds.
Anyways, we watched family guy before she left and I stumbled upstairs to go to bed.
That's what I thought anyway, that'd I'd just go to bed.
I ended up talking to Ash for a bit. Then, after we signed off, agreeing to go to bed, I sat and stared at my desktop for a good five minutes before finishing the chapter I was working on.
Finally, around one in the morning I crawled into bed.
Here's were I talk about Karma. I've been getting frustrated at the level of lazy that my boyfriend has managed to reach, and making me sleep in to 11:30 was more than the tip of the iceberg for me.
This morning, my alarm goes off at 8:30 as usual, and, as usual, I hit snooze, fully intending to go back to sleep.
As usual, God laughs at my plans and sends me a text message from, surprisingly, Neal. I looked at it and was surprised to see: It's not even 8:30.... and then you actually have to open the text to read it all.
Thinking he was going to be like "It's not even 8:30 and I'm up! Aren't you proud of me?" Or something like that, I eagerly open it.
The text said something along the lines: It's not even 8:30 and my roommate has friends over and they're blasting music and screaming.
I couldn't help but grin. This was worth not snoozing through. My boyfriend was actually up before 11 (and 11 is a good day), and thoroughly irritated. Of course, I'm a bit groggy, but I'm stil enjoying myself.
He continues to complain for a bit before suddenly switching gears and apologizing profusely about waking me up. Of course, now I'm up and rolling my eyes.
Isn't it, like, girlfriend duty to get up early and listen to your boyfriend complain about waking up early? Especially after he has to sit through all the drama you put him through about your stupid stuff?
So I told him to take a few breaths, put on his headphones and go back to sleep.
The rest of the day was nice after that. I got up, took a shower, ate breakfast, watched Maury, meditated, and am now preparing to go chill with my girls!
I'm not sure what I'm doing after tutoring. I'm still a bit miffed about Neal and his lack of ambition, so I need to find a way to get over that, and do it quickly.
Maybe I'll drink some tea and ponder it.
Until next time,
Love and Peace,
Elle
I should start at the beginning before I start to ramble. Organization and all that.
Neal and I woke up at 11:30, which, to me, is too late to be productive. Let's face it. After waking up so late, you don't really want to do anything else for the rest of the day. So I started watching America's Next Top Model reruns and surfing the web.
That's when Rick messages me on facebook asking for a favor. There was something wrong with his car and he asked that, if he needed a lift, he could count on me. I told him I'd do him one better. He should come over while his car is getting fixed and then I'll throw a tea party.
Well, as I'm talking to Rick, I'm also texting Ali. Because the three of us are all friends, I invited her too. Unfortunately, Ali had to eat dinner so she had to come over later, but it was still nice to sit and share woes with Rick.
Rick and I devoured the croissants I had bought for the tea party, and enjoyed a bit of the cake that I made. The two of us also started our pottermore comic so I'll probably be posting some of that when I get the chance. Maybe after I'm done tutoring my girls.
Then Ali came over and enjoyed tea with us. I must say, I'm proud to have found a tea that she likes. Now I just have to find some that all of my friends will like when I throw these tea parties. We finished off the croissants and had more cake. What a legit tea party! Rick kept calling the croissants 'scones' because it felt so legit... I think it might have been the teapot.
The three of us had a grand ol' time laughing a joking until Rick had to leave to do homework and prepare for class. Then it was just Ali and I. We chatted a bit about the avengers, which was an awesome movie, and then headed into the living room to watch Brother Bear.
Of course, I was a crying, hot mess throughout the ending of that movie. What I really like about Ali is that, whenever I turn into a ball of tears and emotion, she just... not ignores it, but lets me be without asking if I'm alright every five seconds.
Anyways, we watched family guy before she left and I stumbled upstairs to go to bed.
That's what I thought anyway, that'd I'd just go to bed.
I ended up talking to Ash for a bit. Then, after we signed off, agreeing to go to bed, I sat and stared at my desktop for a good five minutes before finishing the chapter I was working on.
Finally, around one in the morning I crawled into bed.
Here's were I talk about Karma. I've been getting frustrated at the level of lazy that my boyfriend has managed to reach, and making me sleep in to 11:30 was more than the tip of the iceberg for me.
This morning, my alarm goes off at 8:30 as usual, and, as usual, I hit snooze, fully intending to go back to sleep.
As usual, God laughs at my plans and sends me a text message from, surprisingly, Neal. I looked at it and was surprised to see: It's not even 8:30.... and then you actually have to open the text to read it all.
Thinking he was going to be like "It's not even 8:30 and I'm up! Aren't you proud of me?" Or something like that, I eagerly open it.
The text said something along the lines: It's not even 8:30 and my roommate has friends over and they're blasting music and screaming.
I couldn't help but grin. This was worth not snoozing through. My boyfriend was actually up before 11 (and 11 is a good day), and thoroughly irritated. Of course, I'm a bit groggy, but I'm stil enjoying myself.
He continues to complain for a bit before suddenly switching gears and apologizing profusely about waking me up. Of course, now I'm up and rolling my eyes.
Isn't it, like, girlfriend duty to get up early and listen to your boyfriend complain about waking up early? Especially after he has to sit through all the drama you put him through about your stupid stuff?
So I told him to take a few breaths, put on his headphones and go back to sleep.
The rest of the day was nice after that. I got up, took a shower, ate breakfast, watched Maury, meditated, and am now preparing to go chill with my girls!
I'm not sure what I'm doing after tutoring. I'm still a bit miffed about Neal and his lack of ambition, so I need to find a way to get over that, and do it quickly.
Maybe I'll drink some tea and ponder it.
Until next time,
Love and Peace,
Elle
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
School: Finally!
Thank God, I am finally back at school!
It's almost as if all of this weight has just fallen off of my shoulders. I can breathe easy and most importantly, I can be myself!
Today is going to be a chilled out and relaxing day. I have my girls I'm going to go tutor, and today, we'll just be doing something fun and easy to get us back into the swing of things.
Of course, you can count on the step-dad to give me shit about tutoring when they aren't paying me, but he can kiss my ass. Sure I'm tutoring these girls for the teaching experience, but really, I've come to care for them so much. It's like, they're my girls. No one else's.
But anyway, after tutoring them, Tanya and I are going to go Bed Bath and Beyond. That way, I can get some fancy jars for my teas, a cake pan, and a bag to properly store my new tea set.
OH MY GOODNESS!!!
MY NEW TEA SET!!
It is glorious!!! Last night I washed it all and then had to put it back in the box, but not before I enjoyed a pot of tea in one of the pretty cups from the pretty tea pot. I feel so fancy and sophisticated.... but actually, this tea set is something I've wanted for a long time. It just reconfirms and shows my love of tea.
Now I can host tea parties with those closest to me! They can be dress-up tea parties too!! However, I'm definitely hoarding the set when it's not in use.
Uh... though, Mandy, if you have nothing to do, you should come over and I'll make you delicious teas. I have a plethora of them now so I'm bound to have something you'll like.
... Segway back into day plans. After BBB, Ms. Tanya and I are heading to Maw-jwa to pick up some groceries and then I think I'm seeing Neal again.
Tonight, I'm going to try to coerce him into watching Moulin Rouge. He's throwing a fit about it right now, but he did the same thing with Titanic and actually liked that movie. Moulin Rouge, I feel, has a bit more man-humor in it. So, even with all the singing, he should like it... right?
We'll just have to see.
Up here at School, I'm going to try and paint more when I have nothing left to do for the day... of course, I'd also like to write with Ash, but life is getting busy, so hopefully we'll have time to do that later. Perhaps I'll pick up the violin again. That might be super nice. We'll just have to see I suppose.
Last night was wonderful. I went to dinner with my Daddy-o and then drove all the way back to school. Unpacking the car was uneventful, but I was tickled when Neal came over and spent the night. Though I might have tortured him a little bit by turning on the fan and then stealing the covers when it was cold last night...
He's a good sport.
I think, after tutoring I might run and see if I have a paycheck waiting for me. It would be super nice and the extra cash would not hurt at all!!
On a more serious note, I've been having really weird and vivid dreams lately. I'm not sure what they mean and strangely enough, I don't really have a desire to go to my usual sources to look them up.
Now I'm just rambling. I think I'm going to go make some tea and center myself for my girls.
Much love and peace
Elle
It's almost as if all of this weight has just fallen off of my shoulders. I can breathe easy and most importantly, I can be myself!
Today is going to be a chilled out and relaxing day. I have my girls I'm going to go tutor, and today, we'll just be doing something fun and easy to get us back into the swing of things.
Of course, you can count on the step-dad to give me shit about tutoring when they aren't paying me, but he can kiss my ass. Sure I'm tutoring these girls for the teaching experience, but really, I've come to care for them so much. It's like, they're my girls. No one else's.
But anyway, after tutoring them, Tanya and I are going to go Bed Bath and Beyond. That way, I can get some fancy jars for my teas, a cake pan, and a bag to properly store my new tea set.
OH MY GOODNESS!!!
MY NEW TEA SET!!
It is glorious!!! Last night I washed it all and then had to put it back in the box, but not before I enjoyed a pot of tea in one of the pretty cups from the pretty tea pot. I feel so fancy and sophisticated.... but actually, this tea set is something I've wanted for a long time. It just reconfirms and shows my love of tea.
Now I can host tea parties with those closest to me! They can be dress-up tea parties too!! However, I'm definitely hoarding the set when it's not in use.
Uh... though, Mandy, if you have nothing to do, you should come over and I'll make you delicious teas. I have a plethora of them now so I'm bound to have something you'll like.
... Segway back into day plans. After BBB, Ms. Tanya and I are heading to Maw-jwa to pick up some groceries and then I think I'm seeing Neal again.
Tonight, I'm going to try to coerce him into watching Moulin Rouge. He's throwing a fit about it right now, but he did the same thing with Titanic and actually liked that movie. Moulin Rouge, I feel, has a bit more man-humor in it. So, even with all the singing, he should like it... right?
We'll just have to see.
Up here at School, I'm going to try and paint more when I have nothing left to do for the day... of course, I'd also like to write with Ash, but life is getting busy, so hopefully we'll have time to do that later. Perhaps I'll pick up the violin again. That might be super nice. We'll just have to see I suppose.
Last night was wonderful. I went to dinner with my Daddy-o and then drove all the way back to school. Unpacking the car was uneventful, but I was tickled when Neal came over and spent the night. Though I might have tortured him a little bit by turning on the fan and then stealing the covers when it was cold last night...
He's a good sport.
I think, after tutoring I might run and see if I have a paycheck waiting for me. It would be super nice and the extra cash would not hurt at all!!
On a more serious note, I've been having really weird and vivid dreams lately. I'm not sure what they mean and strangely enough, I don't really have a desire to go to my usual sources to look them up.
Now I'm just rambling. I think I'm going to go make some tea and center myself for my girls.
Much love and peace
Elle
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Update: Non-updates
I've decided not to update this blog until I get back to school.
Home is seriously putting a raincloud over my head and killing my mood. Because of this, all of the posts that I'd be posting would be depressing, sad, or angry.
To help prevent that, I'll publish more when I'm up at school. It'll definitely be a better atmosphere up there than here.
Sure I might be bored, but it's better to be bored than depressed... or that's what I think anyway.
So I'll talk to you all in a few days.
Love and Peace
Elle
Home is seriously putting a raincloud over my head and killing my mood. Because of this, all of the posts that I'd be posting would be depressing, sad, or angry.
To help prevent that, I'll publish more when I'm up at school. It'll definitely be a better atmosphere up there than here.
Sure I might be bored, but it's better to be bored than depressed... or that's what I think anyway.
So I'll talk to you all in a few days.
Love and Peace
Elle
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Today: Grades, Meeting the Parents, Slight Venting
So, today was going to start out good and well.
Then grades came. I did... well, I passed all of my classes, but then I called my mom who, of course, made me feel like a failure.
So I was down when I met up with Neal for the day. He was really supportive. He stood by me as I freaked about maybe having to take a class again (which I don't), and was just wonderful.
I also met his parents today! I have to admit, I was really really nervous, but they're both really nice people. His dad is a bit gruff, but a good guy, and his mom is really personable. They both made me feel at home.
However, Neal accidentally had me cooking for his parents, which he apologized about later. You see, he took me around his small town, and then we went to a park for the day. It was just nice being around him, and the day was hot and beautiful as well. After we were done playing in the park, we went to meijer and were looking for food to get when he says "Well, why don't we just get some more so we can make some for my dad too!"
I understand why he thought that way, but I sort of poked him and said "Well that puts pressure on me! I'm cooking for your entire family!"
After dinner and a movie the two of us took his dog for a walk and he apologized for that. He said he's gonna make it up to me somehow, so we'll see just how he does it.
Throughout the day, I found myself getting more and more angry at my parents. I want my mom to be a mom, one I can go to whenever I need one, who is comforting and like... well, a mom! But whenever we talk she talks about herself, or whenever I have a problem, she still talks about herself and then tells me what I need to change about myself or some other tangents that don't even make sense.
And Frank doesn't stand up for me. Whenever she's around he is just so antagonistic.
I just feel like, the longer that I'm home, the angrier I get at them. And I'm trying to forgive them for everything they've done to hurt me, but it seems as if it's the reverse that's happening.
Tomorrow should be nice though. Neal is coming over and he gets to sit down with my dad. My real dad.
So that should be wonderful. My dad and I get along really well, and I know he'll like Neal. Out of all of my parental units, my dad is the one that I really want to meet my boyfriend.
Hopefully, tomorrow, I'll be less angry.
Oh! Also, I've decided not to do the Mary Kay thing. I'll find money another way.
Love and Peace
Elle
Then grades came. I did... well, I passed all of my classes, but then I called my mom who, of course, made me feel like a failure.
So I was down when I met up with Neal for the day. He was really supportive. He stood by me as I freaked about maybe having to take a class again (which I don't), and was just wonderful.
I also met his parents today! I have to admit, I was really really nervous, but they're both really nice people. His dad is a bit gruff, but a good guy, and his mom is really personable. They both made me feel at home.
However, Neal accidentally had me cooking for his parents, which he apologized about later. You see, he took me around his small town, and then we went to a park for the day. It was just nice being around him, and the day was hot and beautiful as well. After we were done playing in the park, we went to meijer and were looking for food to get when he says "Well, why don't we just get some more so we can make some for my dad too!"
I understand why he thought that way, but I sort of poked him and said "Well that puts pressure on me! I'm cooking for your entire family!"
After dinner and a movie the two of us took his dog for a walk and he apologized for that. He said he's gonna make it up to me somehow, so we'll see just how he does it.
Throughout the day, I found myself getting more and more angry at my parents. I want my mom to be a mom, one I can go to whenever I need one, who is comforting and like... well, a mom! But whenever we talk she talks about herself, or whenever I have a problem, she still talks about herself and then tells me what I need to change about myself or some other tangents that don't even make sense.
And Frank doesn't stand up for me. Whenever she's around he is just so antagonistic.
I just feel like, the longer that I'm home, the angrier I get at them. And I'm trying to forgive them for everything they've done to hurt me, but it seems as if it's the reverse that's happening.
Tomorrow should be nice though. Neal is coming over and he gets to sit down with my dad. My real dad.
So that should be wonderful. My dad and I get along really well, and I know he'll like Neal. Out of all of my parental units, my dad is the one that I really want to meet my boyfriend.
Hopefully, tomorrow, I'll be less angry.
Oh! Also, I've decided not to do the Mary Kay thing. I'll find money another way.
Love and Peace
Elle
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Morning: Some Thoughts
Today the third book in the Kane Chronicles comes out!! That means, I absolutely need to go to Barnes and Nobles and buy it asap.
Also today, I'm going to a Mary Kay party for my friend who needs people to practice on. It'll be nice to get out of the house and see her. Maybe I'll meet some new people!!
It was ridiculous this morning. My dog needed to go out at 8:00 like always, so I got up, let her out, fed her and the cat, and let the dog back in. Then, I made my way up to my bedroom and decided to curl up for roughly five more minutes. To my surprise, Midnight came back into the room and cuddled with me. We stayed in bed for the entire morning! Midnight pushed her way to the center of the bed, but it was nice to sleep in for once.
I don't think I've slept past 8 in the morning for months.
Speaking of thinking, I think I'm going to make a couple of separate blogs. This one, my personal one, one for reviewing stuff, and the other for posting poetry. However, I have no idea when I'll start those up.
I'm off to prepare for my day!
Love and Peace
Elle
Also today, I'm going to a Mary Kay party for my friend who needs people to practice on. It'll be nice to get out of the house and see her. Maybe I'll meet some new people!!
It was ridiculous this morning. My dog needed to go out at 8:00 like always, so I got up, let her out, fed her and the cat, and let the dog back in. Then, I made my way up to my bedroom and decided to curl up for roughly five more minutes. To my surprise, Midnight came back into the room and cuddled with me. We stayed in bed for the entire morning! Midnight pushed her way to the center of the bed, but it was nice to sleep in for once.
I don't think I've slept past 8 in the morning for months.
Speaking of thinking, I think I'm going to make a couple of separate blogs. This one, my personal one, one for reviewing stuff, and the other for posting poetry. However, I have no idea when I'll start those up.
I'm off to prepare for my day!
Love and Peace
Elle
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