If there is one being that can help me, it's Him.
I think that is what France has taught me above all things.
Also, I was watching Four Weddings on TLC (another one of my guilty pleasures), and I realized something besides the fact that I absolutely LOVE weddings.
I want a simple wedding and a BIG dress.
And now Iron Man is on, so I'm going to go watch it.
Love and Peace
Elle
Monday, August 20, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
A good day!
Today was actually a really great day! Neal spent the night again. We ended up staying up really late talking about world wars I and II. He thinks he talks to much, but I actually enjoyed listening to him. It was a really nice night.
Unfortunately, we stayed up so late that getting up early was really hard. I think I slept in a little, actually. However, we managed to get ourselves moving.
I found I was really sore from playing "baseball" at Neal's house last night. I've never batted before and actually found myself surprisingly okay at it. I was able to hit the ball a bunch of times and accidentally hit their dog with a ball that I had batted. The dog was fine. All of the reactions came from the humans around him. They went from shock, and when the dog didn't even flinch, everyone started laughing. I think some of us were laughing so hard there were tears in our eyes.
Don't worry about the dog, he got me back good.
After someone finally caught a ball that I batted (that didn't hit a dog), Neal went up to bat. His father pitched to him and he hit a really good ball. It was in my area so I ran to catch it. Well, just as I stopped to catch it, my feet went sliding out from under me.
I caught the ball just before I hit the ground and slid a few feet in the wet grass. After a moment, I realized that I still held the ball. I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed...
WHEN SUDDENLY A GIANT WET NOSE WAS THRUST INTO MY FACE!
The dog had rammed his head into my face trying to get the ball that I still held in my hands.
That's why was I sore. Really.
Anyways, we got up, got cleaned up and I got dressed in my RenFest outfit while Neal just got dressed.
Then we were off to enjoy the day hanging out in Holly.
It was so much fun! We walked around and found the Tortuga Twins who were actually three guys. They ended up calling Neal up on stage to play Robbin Hood. I think it was really good for him, though he was nervous the whole time. He says he can't be charming or is awkward, but when he puts his mind to it, damn. He could have the whole world in his hand.
After that we meandered around through the area, looking into various shops and being really disgustingly cute. I'm not sure if that will ever wear off. I'm such a touchy person you know?
Anyway, we say a lot of shows, including a show about knights with a lot of short jokes and fun sword fighting, a bit of the washing well wenches, ONE STEP FURTHER!, and Ded Bob. Along with all those shows we got soup in a bread bowl and wandered through many shops. We also got lost in the maze they had put up.
It was mostly for little kids, but we were able to find a couple of quiet corners to steal some not so innocent kisses in.
After that it was time to shop! I wanted to buy a lace underskirt, but my mom made me feel ashamed of wanted to buy clothes before I left, so I just bought honey and a packet of seasoning to make some yummy dip for my tea parties.
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard during the shows, or have been so happy at the RenFest. I'm really glad that Neal was able to come with me. Okay, so maybe we were a little bit disgusting by out cutsey coupley behavior, but hey. This is the second time I've been in love with someone, and the first time I don't have to worry about my standing with them.
Then after we had walked through the whole place over and over again, we were hungry and it was time to go home. Neal agreed to buy stuff to make tacos and was kind enough to make them for me too.
While we ate dinner, we watched Spartacus: VENGEANCE! I found out I accidentally skipped an episode today so Neal was laughing at me as I gasped and talked to the characters on the screen. After the episodes ended, it was 8:30. Not enough time to start another episode, but Neal didn't need to leave until 9, so I made him sit and cuddle with me.
It was nice to just sit with him and have him touch me. Not even sexually just, to be touched. I'm really going to miss that. I'm going to miss holding his hand, or cuddling up next to him and feeling his hands on my skin or through my hair.
I'm still really terrified about losing him, but time is pushing me forward so I'm doing my best to not think about it. Or I'm doing my best to find something to help me not think about it. It just seems that all my time with him, no matter how happy, is tinged with sadness. More on this is in the last post under the read more...
This is going to be a hard year, so thank God for Skype.
Love and Peace
Elle
Unfortunately, we stayed up so late that getting up early was really hard. I think I slept in a little, actually. However, we managed to get ourselves moving.
I found I was really sore from playing "baseball" at Neal's house last night. I've never batted before and actually found myself surprisingly okay at it. I was able to hit the ball a bunch of times and accidentally hit their dog with a ball that I had batted. The dog was fine. All of the reactions came from the humans around him. They went from shock, and when the dog didn't even flinch, everyone started laughing. I think some of us were laughing so hard there were tears in our eyes.
Don't worry about the dog, he got me back good.
After someone finally caught a ball that I batted (that didn't hit a dog), Neal went up to bat. His father pitched to him and he hit a really good ball. It was in my area so I ran to catch it. Well, just as I stopped to catch it, my feet went sliding out from under me.
I caught the ball just before I hit the ground and slid a few feet in the wet grass. After a moment, I realized that I still held the ball. I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed...
WHEN SUDDENLY A GIANT WET NOSE WAS THRUST INTO MY FACE!
The dog had rammed his head into my face trying to get the ball that I still held in my hands.
That's why was I sore. Really.
Anyways, we got up, got cleaned up and I got dressed in my RenFest outfit while Neal just got dressed.
Then we were off to enjoy the day hanging out in Holly.
It was so much fun! We walked around and found the Tortuga Twins who were actually three guys. They ended up calling Neal up on stage to play Robbin Hood. I think it was really good for him, though he was nervous the whole time. He says he can't be charming or is awkward, but when he puts his mind to it, damn. He could have the whole world in his hand.
After that we meandered around through the area, looking into various shops and being really disgustingly cute. I'm not sure if that will ever wear off. I'm such a touchy person you know?
Anyway, we say a lot of shows, including a show about knights with a lot of short jokes and fun sword fighting, a bit of the washing well wenches, ONE STEP FURTHER!, and Ded Bob. Along with all those shows we got soup in a bread bowl and wandered through many shops. We also got lost in the maze they had put up.
It was mostly for little kids, but we were able to find a couple of quiet corners to steal some not so innocent kisses in.
After that it was time to shop! I wanted to buy a lace underskirt, but my mom made me feel ashamed of wanted to buy clothes before I left, so I just bought honey and a packet of seasoning to make some yummy dip for my tea parties.
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard during the shows, or have been so happy at the RenFest. I'm really glad that Neal was able to come with me. Okay, so maybe we were a little bit disgusting by out cutsey coupley behavior, but hey. This is the second time I've been in love with someone, and the first time I don't have to worry about my standing with them.
Then after we had walked through the whole place over and over again, we were hungry and it was time to go home. Neal agreed to buy stuff to make tacos and was kind enough to make them for me too.
While we ate dinner, we watched Spartacus: VENGEANCE! I found out I accidentally skipped an episode today so Neal was laughing at me as I gasped and talked to the characters on the screen. After the episodes ended, it was 8:30. Not enough time to start another episode, but Neal didn't need to leave until 9, so I made him sit and cuddle with me.
It was nice to just sit with him and have him touch me. Not even sexually just, to be touched. I'm really going to miss that. I'm going to miss holding his hand, or cuddling up next to him and feeling his hands on my skin or through my hair.
I'm still really terrified about losing him, but time is pushing me forward so I'm doing my best to not think about it. Or I'm doing my best to find something to help me not think about it. It just seems that all my time with him, no matter how happy, is tinged with sadness. More on this is in the last post under the read more...
This is going to be a hard year, so thank God for Skype.
Love and Peace
Elle
Friday, August 17, 2012
Decisions
I've decided that I'm not going to take those pills. Fuck hormonal birth control. I'll get the IUD. There is no way I'm going to adjust and change my body in order to have sex.
Screw that.
In other news, I decimated a bunch of grasshoppers mowing the lawn today, and the lawnmower and I aren't friends anymore.
It's so strange to me how life goes on. What I mean is, I think that was my biggest thing with reverse culture shock. I felt like I had changed so much and yet, no one here had. But they just went on with their lives without me. So in a way that was change? But I was expecting everyone to have been, I dunno, different...
Like I said, strange.
Oh well, I'm going to find a way to amuse myself this evening.
Love,
Elle
Screw that.
In other news, I decimated a bunch of grasshoppers mowing the lawn today, and the lawnmower and I aren't friends anymore.
It's so strange to me how life goes on. What I mean is, I think that was my biggest thing with reverse culture shock. I felt like I had changed so much and yet, no one here had. But they just went on with their lives without me. So in a way that was change? But I was expecting everyone to have been, I dunno, different...
Like I said, strange.
Oh well, I'm going to find a way to amuse myself this evening.
Love,
Elle
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Jet Plane
More negative ranting. I figure I should post a warning now so my blog doesn't look too depressing.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Dream
It was during the zombie apocalypse, and we had a safe house. It was actually a large group of people. We lived quite comfortably as we all had the number one rule "Keep your weapons with you."
This became apparent when a party was being thrown and someone got bit. He was in denial at first, so we put him in the upstairs infirmary (the bathroom) to wash his bite wound out with alcohol and such (He got bit on the neck). Unfortunately, nothing worked and he killed two people, so we killed him. I think a bunch of us vacated the house to get rid of surrounding zombies.
Throughout all this, I was an archer. I had this really sweet quiver of arrows that you zipped up, and then on top there was a compartment for archery gloves and stuff like that.
Anyway, I prepped my quiver and headed out on a hunting team to kill some more zombies. As we were hiding among some rocks, scouting, we were surrounded by three people who tried to distract us while a third aimed more arrows at us, but I saw him and shot.
Soon arrows were flying everywhere but we were able to fend our attacker off. Later we were in a forest in these giant... I'm not sure how to describe them. They were giant nest-like platforms that were hung between these trees. And these trees were huge!
But the people who ambushed us were sitting with us in the nest. Just hanging out.
That's when we figured out they were tracking us and wanted to get back to our safehouse. I had to take apart all of my arrows to find 2 that had a tracker in them. I told the others to go on while I got some more arrows. Different ones.
Then it changed and I was visiting Neal. We kept trying to have sex, but something kept interrupting us.
That's all I remember for now.
Love,
Elle
This became apparent when a party was being thrown and someone got bit. He was in denial at first, so we put him in the upstairs infirmary (the bathroom) to wash his bite wound out with alcohol and such (He got bit on the neck). Unfortunately, nothing worked and he killed two people, so we killed him. I think a bunch of us vacated the house to get rid of surrounding zombies.
Throughout all this, I was an archer. I had this really sweet quiver of arrows that you zipped up, and then on top there was a compartment for archery gloves and stuff like that.
Anyway, I prepped my quiver and headed out on a hunting team to kill some more zombies. As we were hiding among some rocks, scouting, we were surrounded by three people who tried to distract us while a third aimed more arrows at us, but I saw him and shot.
Soon arrows were flying everywhere but we were able to fend our attacker off. Later we were in a forest in these giant... I'm not sure how to describe them. They were giant nest-like platforms that were hung between these trees. And these trees were huge!
But the people who ambushed us were sitting with us in the nest. Just hanging out.
That's when we figured out they were tracking us and wanted to get back to our safehouse. I had to take apart all of my arrows to find 2 that had a tracker in them. I told the others to go on while I got some more arrows. Different ones.
Then it changed and I was visiting Neal. We kept trying to have sex, but something kept interrupting us.
That's all I remember for now.
Love,
Elle
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Frustration!
My mom and I were drinking and she was very upset when I told her I wanted to take a year before I went to get a job. I don't want to teach in Grand Rapids. I don't want to get sucked into a school and stuck in MI.
I really hope everything works out. I want to be with Nick, but my mom is skeptical about our jobs allowing us to stay together. Now I'm scared too.
I really hope everything works out. I want to be with Nick, but my mom is skeptical about our jobs allowing us to stay together. Now I'm scared too.
8 days
Well, I knew the peace between my mother and I wouldn't last that long. Today she tried to test me by stealing my fries and was "blown away" and "shocked" when I told her no. I told her she had to ask, not just take. I'm proud to say I held my own when she tried to guilt trip me. I told her she shouldn't test me like that.
Other than that, today was really nice! I got to talk to the beau, and Amanda who has some very exciting things going on in her life right now!
I also got to visit a very quaint/peaceful chapelle by the Bon Marche. My homecoming outfit is almost complete now too!! How exciting!
Tomorrow we switch hotels and are off to Monet's gardens and hanging out with Denise.
Love and Peace
Elle
Other than that, today was really nice! I got to talk to the beau, and Amanda who has some very exciting things going on in her life right now!
I also got to visit a very quaint/peaceful chapelle by the Bon Marche. My homecoming outfit is almost complete now too!! How exciting!
Tomorrow we switch hotels and are off to Monet's gardens and hanging out with Denise.
Love and Peace
Elle
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