Meditation at St. James

I don’t like going to church because I hate the fact that there is so much corruption in the institution.

However, I love going inside churches and using them as a holy space to meditate and connect with God, the Universe, and myself without people telling me how I need to think and act. 

Today, around midday, I went to a church that I used to go to as a little kid. It’s been like… years and years since I’ve gone. It hasn’t really changed much, but it was definitely bigger than I remembered. 

It was a typical monday afternoon at a church. There were two people in the office, and a small dog that roamed around, that were too wrapped up in their conversation to notice me walk past them into the lobby. To my right were three sets of tall double doors that lead into the main room of worship. Stealing myself, I tested one of the doors to see if they were locked.

They weren’t.

Stealing myself again, I pulled the door open just far enough to get through and stepped over the threshold.  

The room was shaded and quiet due to the stained glass windows muting the sunlight. Weaving through the seats, I breathed in the smell that churches usually have- remnants of frankincense and myrrh- and felt my headache fade away. There was definitely a presence there. Like the feeling of something big in the room that expands and shifts to accommodate the environment around it. Thicker than smoke, thinner than water. 

I suppose the best way to describe it is energy. Just this big feeling of positive, peaceful energy. Something that inspired reverence and respect. It isn’t something that you can ignore, especially when you’re alone in a place you probably shouldn’t be, but something that you can feel at ease in. 

Anyways,

after admiring the work put into the building, something like a shadow of the great cathedrals in Europe, I found my way to a small room off to the side and sidled in. 

This room was darker than the main one, with it’s own pretty window at the far end. The wooden chairs with red cushioned seats formed neat little rows all the way down to an area where a podium sat. 

I took the seat closest to the door and let myself drift. 

Actually, I think I nodded off a bit. A lot of the time, due to the fact I was nodding off, I was able to hang in that place where your mind is blank and not able to really think about anything. It actually felt good to be able to do that in a holy place. 

Like seriously, this place was nothing but peaceful. 

The thing I love best about meditating in churches is the fact that you can do so without worrying about negative energies. Due to the fact that the church is literally God’s domain, anything that hasn’t evolved to a higher level of peace/love/holiness, can’t really thrive there. You don’t… well, I feel as if I don’t, have to worry about dragging in more baggage or emotional bs and residue than what is on your mind or heart. It sort of falls off you when you enter a space that is between you and whatever higher power you believe in.

Like layers. You walk into the big room and the world’s bull falls away. You sink into your meditative state and you work your problems out or let them go.

I walked out feeling a lot better than I have in a while. Even though I was still tired, I felt more centered and alert. More peaceful and connected to myself and my higher power.

Which is what this whole thing is about anyway right?