Short Update

Spending all day with Neal was wonderful.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to get a dentist appointment in, a physical appointment made, and then going to hang out with my friend T for a Mary Kay party.

Should be a lot of fun.

Love and Peace
Elle

Today: Shopping, Venting, Watching

Okay, I’m writing today because, once again, my mother has insulted someone that I care about a lot without getting to know them.

She makes me so mad. Today, at the mall, I called her to ask her a question about a bathing suit that I wanted to buy (it looks really good by the way), and then I tell her that Neal is coming over.

Neal, my boyfriend, one of the most trustworthy people that I know.

My mother says: “Well, can you lock our bedroom door?”

“Why?”

“We just like it locked when people are going to be coming and going through the house.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna be in my sight the whole time.”

“Still, I just want to be careful.”

Excuse me? How dare you insult my boyfriend! She basically called him a thief and a liar through being indirect. By doing so, she insults me and the choices I make on who I keep close to me.

I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this. No, that’s a lie. I am livid. I’m more than livid. This is why I never tell her anything. This is why I never confide in her at all! And Frank! Don’t even get me started on him! He won’t stick up for me. He’ll just agree with her and then tell me how awful I am or how much I need to change.

I can’t wait until I’m financially stable and don’t have to deal with them.

The worst part is, they don’t even know they’re doing it.

I’m not going to rant on this whole blog about this. There’s a lot of things I want to talk about. The first and foremost is my date tomorrow!

Neal and I are going to go to Greenfield Village! It’s been so long since I’ve gone there so I’m sort of really excited for it. I can’t wait to share it with him. After we go hang out at the interactive museum, we’ll probably come back to my home.

I’m making tacos. I’ve already made dessert. It’s strawberries all chopped up drizzled with milk and dark chocolate.

After dinner, we’ll probably go hang out in the hot tub for a while.

Like I said it should be a good night. The only time we’ll be apart is when we change, and he will stay downstairs.

So, I’m not locking the fucking door. I don’t care if you don’t trust my boyfriend, but I do, and that should be enough for you. Particularly if you know me, and know that I don’t fuck around with whom I choose to be close to me.


Something interesting happened to me at the mall today! I met these guys, they're a band called "Royal Hoax." They're actually not bad and they give a bit of the money they earn to charity to feed people. Well, I got sucked in. The guy told me, for $20, I get a T-shirt, a CD, and donate three meals to people who need it. So I did it. I gave them the $20 and then on top of my sweet new CD and T-shirt, I get free tickets to a concert of theirs in Grand Rapids! Hooray!

Anyways. I had a small adventure today, looking around for condoms. I felt a bit awkward standing in front of the Wall of Contraceptives at Meijer. I’m sure people were looking at me as I stood there and stared down my fate and texted Neal with my bunches of questions and insecurities.

I must admit, I felt a little bit more grown up walking out of Meijer with a pack of condoms in my hand.

I think I have to take this sex thing in baby steps and let my life and God lead me and let things happen the way they’re supposed to.

I’m up for another lonely night tonight… well, last night wasn’t too bad seeing as my puppy slept with me, but still. I texted Neal late into the night to procrastinate falling asleep in my bed here.  Not sure why, but it’s easier for me to sleep at school. This house just feels heavy when the lights go out, as if the negative feelings that have been culminated here over the years just manifests itself and walks around the house.

School is a much more positive experience. I don’t have to worry about anyone expecting me to be a completely different person, or anyone insulting those close to me.

I have to stop being so jaded.

Tonights plans are food and then finishing watching my Avatar the Last Airbender DVDs. I know I was thinking of doing a review on something, but I sort of don’t want to today.

Agh, I cannot wait until tomorrow. It is going to be a great day!

Love and Peace

Elle

Home: An Update

I wanted to leave earlier. I really did.

But I woke up late and Legend of Korra was on... man, that show just takes all of my emotions and pulls them. That show is turning into an addiction. I just want to know what's going to happen next and I want to see Aang and how his relationship with Korra is going to go.

However, that's a side tangent.

Homecoming was everything I thought it would be. The step-father had left earlier today on his way to bring my mother's car to her in TX so when I came home, I was greeted only by the light of my life, love of my heart, apple of my eye, and all things positive.

The cat even wandered around to be greeted happily.

It was a joyous reunion!

Then I was able to relax at home and watch this show called "The Borgias." It's a pretty good show, full of plot twists and whatnots with Jeremy Irons playing Pope Alexander the VI.

I was thinking, perhaps I should write a bit of reviews of stuff on this. Like movies or TV shows. Maybe later this week I'll do one on episode four of Korra for example.

Lord knows I'll have the time.

The thing is, I like having the house without my mom or step-dad around, but I do wish there was someone else here. That's how I like to live with people. I don't have to talk with them, but I like them around.

.... except for Neal. When he's around, I just want his attention. He's a good sport for putting up with me.

For tonight, I think I'll take a long needed bubble bath and then start some laundry.

Tomorrow, I'm not sure what I will do. There is no one to really hang out with right now. Maybe I'll wander around naked or do a review on an episode of the Borgias or Spartacus. I'll have to organize this blog then. To have the reviews under a different page.

I'll think about it as I soak.

Much love and peace,
Elle

Travel Home: Postponed

So... I forgot to check my keys in and out for my apartment. Which means, halfway home, I got a text from one of my roommates reminding me that I needed to do that.

By the time I got back, the office had closed for the evening, so I'm stuck here without Blackdog and Smallcat for another night.

I think I'll just play unhealthy amounts of Zelda and write for Ms. Ash.

Love and Peace
Elle

Endings

So today is the day. Today is the day that I head out for come for a week after finals week. Today I pack my room up of everything it doesn't need and traverse the long, 2.5 hour trip across state home.

It's sort of a bittersweet feeling. I mean I'm done with school for three months, I'm going to France in less than two months, but.... I dunno, even though I'm only going home for a week, I feel like I'm leaving a piece of my heart in my apartment.

Or perhaps I'm feeling almost a dreading feeling for my grades when they come out next week.

I seem to be under the impression that I failed every single one of the finals that mattered and will have to re-take all of my exams. And please don't tell me that you think I'll be alright. I know I didn't do well on the math final (no surprises there- it's a good thing I'm not solely teaching math), and I'm not so sure about my linguistics final. French.... I wish I had better confidence.

Hopefully all will be well in the end, but I think I would go into a small depression if I had to re-take any of my classes.

My mom called today, and it was nice talking to her, but half of me is dreading when she comes back from Texas. Don't get me wrong, I miss her a lot, I just....

She's off doing her own thing, I just don't know how to fit her into my life when she's been absent from it so often is all.

On a very very very good note, I get to see the light of my life, love of my heart, apple of my eye, and any other positive expressions you can think of, today!! I absolutely cannot wait!

When I walk through the door, I am sure to be greeted by a big, black, shaggy body that is wiggling from head to toe with excitement. I think I'll be pretty wiggly with excitement too! I miss my puppy more than anyone can imagine.

I miss the cat too, but she's so aloof that it makes it hard for me to look forward to any greeting she can give me. However, I know that she loves and misses me too, by the way that she pounds on my door in the middle of the night, or curls into my lap as I am joyfully engaged in Spartacus, My Little Pony, Glee, or Adventure Time.

I should finish cleaning my room so I can get a move on and go home!

Love and Peaces!
Elle

Finally Done!!

Ahh! It was so blissful waking up this morning without having to worry about anything!! There was nothing to study for, no work to dread going to, and no class to drag myself to.

It is officially summer! Officially!!

Now all I have to do is clean my room thoroughly so when I go home for two weeks it will welcome me back and not smell like feet.

I do have some things to talk about from last night though, so before I get into whatever dribbles I want to talk about today, I'm going to fill y'all in of my adventures last night.

Well, yesterday was rough, I'm not going to lie. I got up early, sucked on my math final (no really, it was awful), and then went home for hours to study for linguistics, which I absolutely needed to do well on.

Anyways, after hours of studying and talking to Ash, I took a nice long nap, got dressed for work, and then trotted off to class.

Now we're all sitting there, prepared to take this exam and what happens? The professor is late. There is this rule that, if the professor is 15 minutes late, the entire class can leave. So we're all sitting there wondering where the professor is a time is ticking by. Every now and again, another professor would peek her head in and chat with us, but she had her own class to look after so we were left relatively unsupervised.

The other professor brought us donuts though, so that was cool. It was really funny because this one girl went up to like, cut the donuts up and then the professor walks in and is like "Oh Sorry I'm late!" And the girl looked like a deer in the headlights as she stood there and sheepishly asked: "Can we still have the donuts?"

Anyways, the professor then begins to tell us a story of how she was in a car accident. A woman accidentally hit her car. So she continues to tell us that she only stopped to get out of her car and make sure it was okay, and then left before the police could get there or anything.

So then she passes out the final exam, which was better than I expected it to be, but not by much.

After the exam, I wandered around before going to my night/closing shift at work. Well, my shift wasn't actually a closing shift, but I felt bad for Will, who had never closed before, so I stayed late to help the grill people close up.

During this time, I learned how to clean the inside of a grill, burned my palm on said grill, and learned the mat placement.

Thankfully, the hour passed by quickly and we were out of there in record time. Unfortunately, it was one in the morning and the beau was sleeping, so I couldn't call him for a ride home. The buses ran on the hour and it was just past one in the morning.

Not wanting to wait for a bus, I traveled home by foot, only to realize halfway there that I forgot to clock out. So I finished walking home, grabbed my purse and drove back to work to clock out.

In any case, the whole experience was an adventure.

This morning, I was able to wake up lazily, shower lazily, run a few errands, and then sit down to write to you fine people.

I have high hopes for this summer! And now it seems as if it is closer than ever!

I'm off to start cleaning my roomish.
Love and Peace
Elle

Going Brain Dead

I'm not looking forward to this evening. I'm really not.

I have two exams at 6 for the same class. Instead of having one final we have to take exam three and then take our comprehensive final. I don't know how much longer I can study for this class.


Then after the exam(s), I have to go to work from 8-12 at grill. I can only pray to God that it won't be busy because everyone is studying or have already gone home.


Speaking of God, I haven't written in my prayer journal recently. I have been saying all of my prayers silently. I probably should write in it again. Sometimes I feel like God hears me better when I write everything down. Maybe it's because I'm a lot more focused when I'm writing.


I should probably start writing poetry again too.


Anyway, after this evening things should start looking up. The Beau is taking me out on a nice date tomorrow night and then on friday I'll be heading on home to the east side. 


Unfortunately, I'll have to take another week off of tutoring my girls because my step-dad is going to go to TX to be with my mom and we can't leave the old dog by herself.


However, it'll be nice to be home and have the house to myself. I'll be able to hang out with Lyn and meditate and burn incense and be all metaphysical and earthy without having to cringe away from the scrutinizing eye of my step-dad.


I had this garden idea a while back for a summer project. I don't think that is going to happen in Milford anymore. I mean, my parents are planning on moving out of that house. What would the point be of starting something beautiful if they're just going to leave it. Another reason is I'll be gone most of the summer and won't be able to tend it. Which, honestly, sucks. I wanted a reason to get my hands dirty this summer.


But I'll be in France.... so I guess it's not all that bad.


Something interesting I've noticed is that my taste in music has greatly changed. Like it's a fine line between bluegrass and folk with a hint of celtic ness in it. I really really like this new taste. It reminds me of green tea with a hint of peppermint.


Speaking of things that I really like, I'm getting better at meditating. Like a lot better! Now I can sit for almost 5 minutes and not think of anything at all. While Amanda doesn't know how this is possible, all I can say is that it is incredibly relaxing. It's definitely something that will be incorporated into my life from here on out.

Alright. I'm off to keep studying Linguistics!!
Peace and Love
Elie

Beginning

This is the first post!

This blog will be a bit more light-hearted than that on LiveJournal. You'll have to friend me there if you want to read the heavier stuff.

I'll catch ya'll later on the flip side!!

Elle